Campbell River parenting coach Dr. Carl Ivey is back today talking about ways to lower the stress factor around your house this holiday season.

I hate to say it. But, the grumpy season has officially kicked in. I was hoping it had skipped the Valley this year – folks had been all smiles and really enjoying the holidays up to this point.

But, it became sadly apparent when – in an unnamed store yesterday – our daughter and I witnessed a woman tearing the heads off of the clerks for the videos being in a location that she didn’t deem appropriate. Fifteen minutes later the entire store had pretty much heard or seen her lash out and all we could do was walk up to the people working there and wish them a Happy Holiday.

This is a terribly stressful time of the year. We all know it.

Take a moment. Think compassion…and remember that with all of the things left to do on your list, everyone else has one to finish too.

A smile and a warm comment go a really long way. (I should tape record myself saying this and play it over and over in the car some days!):)

If you need an extra hand, Dr. Ivey and other professionals can help you through this holiday season. He’s got his last seminar of the year next Tuesday (Dec. 11) at 7 p.m. at the Ironkettle Restaurant in Campbell River. The topic will be Be An Effective Parent & Use Healthy Discipline to Navigate Today’s Culture Challenges and you have to pre-register.

Anyway, here he is:

This is a time of great joy, anticipation and busy-ness.

It is also a time of potential anxiety, excessive stress and a particular kind of depression known as “holiday blues”.

A certain amount of stress is not only unavoidable but actually necessary and beneficial. This “good” stress reflects the presence of life,change,vitality and flow. The only way not to have this “good” stress is not to have life,change,vitality and flow. In other words, you would have to be dead.

The challenge for all of us, however, is to maintain healthy balance in our lives so as to be able to enjoy life without feeling overwhelmed by its demands, particularly during this time of year.

Doing those things and thinking those thoughts which give us a sense of control are the most direct ways of keeping the “bad” or negative stress to a minimum. The suggestions which I offer you are intended not only to keep stress to a minimum this holiday season but throughout the year:

1)Treat yourself as if you were the most important person on the planet–because you are! This will appear to many as being self-centered and selfish but it is really about being more aware and self-ful regarding your need to be nurtured,well taken care of, valued and loved. And if you don’t nurture, take good care of, value and love yourself how can you expect any other human being to do so? The most precious gift that you can give to your husband, wife, partner, children, family and friends is to take good care of yourself! Those of you who have ever traveled on an airplane know all too well the pre-flight instructions which advise us, in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, to “put your own oxygen mask on first and then assist the person sitting next to you.”

2) Get enough sleep. The majority of Canadians don’t get sufficient sleep and are chronically sleep-deprived. This lack of sleep has numerous negative effects on our health. With the onset of the holiday season, the number of persons suffering from lack of sleep will only increase. This will increase the risk of becoming sick but also increase the chances of experiencing stress, frustration, anxiety and depression. A number of studies have shown that the maximum amount of growth hormone is produced during restful sleep between the hours of 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. This hormone helps the body to repair and rejuvenate itself. It is no wonder that people who have to work on jobs which require them to be awake at night are referred to as working “graveyard shifts.”

3) Eat a healthy diet. This is easier said than done. And most of us already know that healthy food is better for us than unhealthy, “junk” food. Healthy food is the best medicine that you can put into your body and there are absolutely no side-effects! I will offer only a few suggestions regarding diet here. Significant is the fact that in the last 10 years there has been an explosion of useful, practical information in the area of nutrition and its role in maintaining health and wellness. I encourage you to contact me, either by e-mail or via phone, regarding more information and how to specifically create a healthy and affordable diet in the real world. But white, refined sugar, white bread, soda pop, artificial sweeteners, bad fats(trans fats and partially hydrogenated fats–read the labels on all packages), should be totally eliminated from your diet. At the same time, start eating more whole grain breads, pasta, cereals, brown rice, free-range lean meats and poultry, wild salmon, healthy oils such as olive oil and coconut oil(which can be used for frying),raw nuts and seeds, and 9 to 14 servings of fresh, raw, organically grown if available, fruits and vegetables(all different colors) every day. I can not emphasize enough the importance of eating sufficient fruits and vegetables as they are highly protective against a number of diseases, including most cancers, heart disease and blood vessel disease including strokes. Thanks to the miracle of technology, there are products now available which allow us to meet the daily fruit and vegetable recommendations. Of course, drink plenty of clean water daily but you may contact me or other naturopathic doctors regarding information on fish oil omega-3 supplements, probiotics, vitamin/mineral supplementation, and information regarding the latest research showing that we need higher doses of vitamin D to prevent depression, prostate cancer and many other conditions. In fact,a particular kind of depression known as seasonal affective disorder(SAD) is epidemic this time of year in people who live this far North. Vitamin D deficiency, along with the lack of sunlight, is perhaps the main reason for the epidemic of SAD during the winter months.

4) Be organized and plan ahead as much as possible. The value of this should be obvious as we all know from personal experience that when our house is clean and uncluttered, we have a more positive state of mind and attitude than when our house is unclean and cluttered. So being organized is a great stress-buster. But be careful not to over-schedule yourself. Leave space for ample “free”, unscheduled time so that you have time to do nothing and also time to spend at least 30 minutes alone in total silence every day with only yourself and your thoughts. This “silent time” is a great form of meditation and is incredible rejuvenating and healthy. Finally, in keeping with taking good care of yourself, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty for saying so.

5) Learn how to discipline your kids, if you don’t yet know how, without punishing them or threatening to punish them. In my 30 years of practicing pediatrics, I observed over and over again that the happiest, most fulfilled, non-stressed parents never hit their kids and rarely, if ever, punished or threatened them. On the other hand, the most miserable, angry, frustrated and stressed-out parents were those parents who punished and threatened their kids the most often! And not surprisingly, the happiest, most confident, secure and responsible kids were those who were never hit and rarely threatened or punished.

I wish everyone a most joyous,safe and blessed holiday season.

Carl L. Ivey,M.D.
Phone:250-286-0542
e-mail:docivey@carliveymd.com