I’d feel naked without my cell phone.
It’s my only phone (I’ve chosen not to get a home phone line) and it remembers all my family and friends’ phone numbers so that I don’t need to.
It serves as my alarm clock.
For a lot of parents, it’s mandatory to help keep control over their busy schedules. If I don’t have it with me, I feel like a part of me is missing. My twelve-year-old son knows this. He’s seen me patting all my pockets with a perplexed look on my face more than once. Lately, he’s been telling me he needs one, too.
I’m not sure if he’s jumping the gun. At what age does your child need a cell phone? Do they need one at all?
My son groans every time I drag out stories from my childhood to compare his growing up with mine.
Granted, things are different now, and I don’t mean to suggest I had a tough life – far from it – but I think it’s inevitable that parents play the comparison game with their kids. (Who else had to walk 5 kilometers to school each day, in metre-high snowdrifts, uphill, both ways?)
I tell him I did just fine without a cell phone in my teenage years – if I needed to call anyone, there was always a landline or pay phone nearby. Then again, we hardly needed to call anyone except our parents. And it’s not like they needed to know we were safe. During Summer, we’d leave in the morning on our bikes, spend all day at the local park playing hockey or down by the river, and come home for dinner. No cell phone needed or wanted.
But, as my son likes to point out, we’re living in a modern world now.
Even phone usage has changed! Cell phones have digital cameras built in. Many have built-in Internet access, too. And kids – especially the teenage ones – are more likely to use their phones to send text messages back and forth rather than actually talking on them.
So, back to the question: is the cell phone an essential communication tool for the back-to-school student, a frivolous time-wasting accessory, or is the answer somewhere in between?
There are health questions, to be sure. Just last month, the Cancer Institute at the University of Pittsburgh sent out a warning recommending kids use cell phones for emergencies only. The long-term effects of cell phone radiation waves on the brain haven’t yet been determined – and since kids’ brains are still developing, they suggest young children particularly need to be careful.
One of the points my son brings up when we talk about having a cell phone is that he’ll always be able to get in touch with one of his parents in an emergency. It’s a valid point, but how many places could he possibly be in where he wouldn’t otherwise have access to a phone? Most of the time, he’s either with me or with his mother.
Am I just ignoring his flourishing independence?
Also significant for me is the responsibility issue – will he use it wisely? Do I have to worry about him spending hours in class texting with friends instead of paying attention to the teacher? Aren’t there enough distractions impinging on his awareness without adding extra ones?
And, finally, there’s the cost to consider. While his mom and I may consider buying him the phone itself as a present, I don’t intend to pay for his cell phone usage. I know there are pay-as-you-go plans, but how much money do you realistically expect a twelve-year-old to earn? Wouldn’t it be better to allow him to concentrate on his studies rather than a job?
I’d love your thoughts about this issue. Do you have a cell phone? Would you consider getting one for your child? Why or why not?
Photo courtesy of Derek Kwan.
Oooh great topic! It’s a tough one and this conversation has definitely come up in my household – how will we deal with the inevitable cell phone, ipod questions? I am actually right in the middle of this dilemna right now. I have a 12 year old staying with me for the summer and she arrived complete with cell phone, ipod and laptop – yikes!!!! It has certainly opened my eyes to the situation and I am already revising my ideas on how I will deal with this as my kids grow older. I think the key is to make sure there are rules, limits and some serious responsibility discussions. The 12 year old visitor at my house has unlimited texting, phone calls and internet access – not ok in my book. I had to enforce some serious rules when she started receiving text messages at 10 and 11 p.m. I’m still not sure where I stand on this – I can see the emergency contact benefits, but….. also unlimited potential for misuse – it is scary the things our young people have access to and even scarier – who has access to them.
I want a cellphone please.
When I was a teenager, i was allowed to get one when I was 16 and it was only allowed to be used in emergencies when I was driving or to call home. Obviously we didn’t have the wonders of text messaging back then!
I didn’t have cell for years, but I did get one recently, have discovered the wonderful world of email by phone or texting (anyone that knows me well, knows that I have a very serious phone phobia). I have been swept in to the craze!!!
I think of cellphone usage is up there with computer usage for kids and considering that I have only a 2 year old I don’t have a clue how to deal with it when we’re older.
I think that if a child can’t pay for it, then it can only be one of those plans that allows you to call 2 or 3 numbers- (home, work, emergency calls, etc). Do they need to be plugged in to their friends 24/7? Nope! The more cell phone/texting/MSN connecting that they do, means that there will be less face to face real communication, which can be pretty important.
If they really want to pick up a paper route or 2 or mowing lawns to finance a pay as you go plan – well then that can be teaching them some sort of financial responsibility (work first, buy later), which is pretty great! A casual part time job like that probably won’t impact their studies and will be teaching them actual real life lessons.
So, I sit on the teeter totter with this one! I’m pretty sure I’ll be implementing a 16+ only – pay as you go – only if you’ve earned it rule though!
After taking a great parenting course recently, my perspective has changed somewhat. The instructor pointed out that childhood is the best time to make mistakes – before the consequences become costly, in terms of money and psyche. A cell phone is a great way to increase independence while still having a safety net. Just think about the worst case scenario with and without a phone – the consequences are much lower if your child can reach you or vice versa.
BTW, have you actually tried to find a payphone recently? They don’t exist – killed by the cell phone phenomenon.
Kya has a cell phone. We chose to get her one when we moved from Burnaby to Redmond. She had earned some measure of independence in Burnaby (going to the local park with friends, etc.) and it didn’t seem fair to revoke those privileges just because I was afraid for her in a new environment. She still had good judgement; I just needed to know I could reach her if *I* felt anxious.
Granted, she hardly uses it. But we’re both glad of the ability to contact each other in those rare situations where nothing else is around.
Her little sister is angling for a phone too (she’s 8). I’m seriously considering it. She has developed a network of friends in our neighbourhood, and I often find myself standing at the top of our lane, yelling her name to get her home for dinner. How much more civilized to just call her on her phone. I will contribute a set amount each month, and anything more will be paid for by her.
Ha! I love that Derek’s son chimed in!
I have long debated the merit of having a cell phone, even for myself.
When we lived in California, it was required by the sheer nature of how we lived – long commutes, huge population, downtown working, etc.
But, now we keep one only for emergencies.
With a 3-year-old, it’s easy for me to say “I would never” or “Do it this way.”
I think technology is a part of modern life, and keeping it away from children is making it mysterious, giving it the opportunity to look really, really good.
Everything in moderation is my vote…if that’s actually possible:)
“if I needed to call anyone, there was always a landline or pay phone nearby.”
What is this “Payphone” of you speak? I think it is in the basement next to my cassette player and analog tv. God you must be old. =P Time to let them get used to the technology early and learn responsibility. Buy the cheapo pay as you go phone so they don’t run up charges but learn how to take care of it and use it.
Hey Derek,
This is a great piece! I’ve struggled with the cell phone issue for a while, and it’s refreshing to see the pros and cons laid out so clearly. Your pithy columns always seem to touch on something I’ve wanted to know more about (the disc golf piece was especially useful). Please keep’em coming!