Comments on: Helping Children With the Loss of a Grandparent http://www.ourbigearth.com/2009/11/12/grand-parents-managing-the-death-of-a-grandparent/ Empowering Families to Create Inspiring Communities Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:48:58 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Marcie http://www.ourbigearth.com/2009/11/12/grand-parents-managing-the-death-of-a-grandparent/comment-page-1/#comment-5437 Marcie Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:25:03 +0000 http://www.ourbigearth.com/?p=12395#comment-5437 Wendy, your articles are always so relevant and heart-felt. Thank you for this piece. A few months back we had a tiny burial of sorts for our goldfish. It definitely got the conversation started. It was confusing for the kids to see the fish go into the ground, but to hear me talk about his spirit going to fish heaven. I hope I haven't confused them completely! Wendy, your articles are always so relevant and heart-felt. Thank you for this piece. A few months back we had a tiny burial of sorts for our goldfish. It definitely got the conversation started. It was confusing for the kids to see the fish go into the ground, but to hear me talk about his spirit going to fish heaven. I hope I haven’t confused them completely!

]]> By: Karen http://www.ourbigearth.com/2009/11/12/grand-parents-managing-the-death-of-a-grandparent/comment-page-1/#comment-5426 Karen Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:18:37 +0000 http://www.ourbigearth.com/?p=12395#comment-5426 What a thorough article, Wendy, thank you! It was so interesting to read about your reactions to death at different stages of life. When my father-in-law died last Christmas we found a great definition of death for our 2 year old was that 'Grandpa's body stopped working.' She could understand those terms. I agree with your 'KISS' rule; keeping explanations as simple as possible works well..(although one of my university prof's told us it stood for, 'Keep It Simple Stupid!'...ouch.) While I agree with one of your last tips about not letting your kids see you 'too distraught'...I would encourage people not to hide their emotions from children. It's healthy for kids to see Mom or Dad cry so that they know it's natural to have those emotions and it's okay to share them with others. I know that sometimes the tendency is to want to 'spare' the kids from seeing adults get emotional, but we don't want to attach any sort of shame to the mourning process. Also, if children don't see their parents cry for years, and then one day they do, it can be absolutely terrifying. What a thorough article, Wendy, thank you! It was so interesting to read about your reactions to death at different stages of life.

When my father-in-law died last Christmas we found a great definition of death for our 2 year old was that ‘Grandpa’s body stopped working.’ She could understand those terms. I agree with your ‘KISS’ rule; keeping explanations as simple as possible works well..(although one of my university prof’s told us it stood for, ‘Keep It Simple Stupid!’…ouch.)

While I agree with one of your last tips about not letting your kids see you ‘too distraught’…I would encourage people not to hide their emotions from children. It’s healthy for kids to see Mom or Dad cry so that they know it’s natural to have those emotions and it’s okay to share them with others. I know that sometimes the tendency is to want to ’spare’ the kids from seeing adults get emotional, but we don’t want to attach any sort of shame to the mourning process. Also, if children don’t see their parents cry for years, and then one day they do, it can be absolutely terrifying.

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