Editor’s Note: Happy Thursday! This morning we have Deepa on site discussing the function a father has (or doesn’t have) during child birth. Here she is:
Do you know who Dr. Michel Odent is? He is truly a God amongst men in the medical world when it comes to natural childbirth. He is French trained obstetrician who has been a proponent for midwives, doulas, birthing pools and home birth. He has spent the better part of the last five decades showing us, in statistically significant terms, that supported birth with minimal medical intervention has the best outcomes.
“DUH”, mother nature sighed as she shook her head at humanity, “I told you so, but have your data if you need more proof.”
Dr. Odent has recently come up with a very controversial suggestion regarding the presence of males during childbirth. His theory is the exact opposite of what you might think. Here’s what he said just last month…
Having been involved for more than 50 years in childbirths in homes and hospitals in France, England, and Africa … the best environment I know for an easy birth is where there is nobody around the woman in labor apart from a silent, low-profile and experienced midwife—and no doctor and no husband, nobody else. In this situation, more often than not, the birth is easier and faster than what happens when there are other people around, especially male figures—husbands and doctors.
He further talks about a laboring woman producing adrenaline with male presence. Adrenaline blocks oxytocin (a hormone necessary for labor contractions). Furthermore, he speaks about “the masculinisation of the birth environment” leading to increased cesarean rate. He argues that males were made to be present at birth for support following the industrial revolution with the increase in hospital births. Finally, he speaks about men potentially losing sexual desire after witnessing birth and the possibility of the male going through a post-partum depression of sorts.
Hmmm… I always thought that it should and would be the sexiest thing to see your empowered woman have your child. But, then again I am a woman.
I have witnessed the spectrum when it comes to males in the delivery room. Lets see… who do I remember? There were the keeners who would have preferred to be the one giving birth instead of their wives. There were the absent ones who split the second they found out they were going to be a father. There were the conspiracy theorists- who questioned any action towards the woman (“no honestly sir it’s just drinking water for your wife, you can certainly try it first if you like”). There was the alcoholic who left during labor when it was taking too long, only to return fully loaded as baby’s head was crowning (incidentally the stench of alcohol is magnified in a sterile hospital setting). And finally, albeit cliché, I even witnessed a guy turn pale and pass out. He gracefully fell to the floor, so we caught him in time!
There are as many types of male support, as there are gelato flavors. By far, my favorite is the guy who is just himself. He is overflowing with love and respect for his partner and child. He is truly present during the labor and would do anything to ease the situation - that at times can become overwhelming. They, as a couple, have taken the time to really know one another and consider this milestone as one to launch off of and begin a glorious journey ahead.
Okay, maybe I am being a bit too idealistic. However, I have certainly been around men who really want to be there and truly love their mate. Those guys have been aware and taken the time to know what their partner needs. Simple as that.
I think women have a deep sense of knowing who would be best to have with them in their most vulnerable and powerful time. For some, this person happens to be the father of their child and for others it’s not. For me there was no question that my husband was going to be there – and he wanted that too. He’s not overly affectionate, but he knows, respects and loves me. He always ‘has my back’, or leg in this case.
Some theories also suggest that oxytocin is secreted whenever a person feels safe, secure and loved. I must have had enough oxytocin to suppress the adrenaline I was secreting with my husband around.
Perhaps for women who know, respect and love themselves, it makes no real difference who is present when they have a baby. Let’s just keep that can of worms closed right now, shall we?
When I think of births at the turn of the century, I always think of women with long dresses and buckets of water huddling over a laboring woman. Somewhere in the background there was hay, barrels and a pig or some such farm animal. I guess the males were out plowing the fields or something. One of my most adored midwife mentors strongly thought like Dr. Odent - that guys should just stay away and let the women take care of business.
The reality is that we are living in a society in which one out of three marriages end in divorce. Clearly supporting one another is not what we do best. I think it’s a deeper societal issue at hand when we start talking about a father’s presence at childbirth as a negative thing.
Perhaps our society has become too complicated to produce a deluge of truly bonded male and female relationships. Just like everything else we’ve gone too far. Let’s get back to the basics… land, food, home and love.
Maybe then we would never even question what has gone wrong with childbirth.
