Editor’s Note: This morning Marcie Dumais is on site with a look at folding old family traditions into your very own new holiday traditions. It’s such a fun time of year to reflect, honor, laugh and enjoy. Creating those memories and reliving happy pieces of our childhood are some of the best parts of this festive season. Here she is:

I remember it clearly. The first time I wasn’t home for Christmas. I recall that I felt more like an observer than a participant in the festivities, secretly critiquing the holiday traditions of my host, but pretending to be relaxed and comfortable with what felt foreign and unusual.

It was 1995. I was twenty-three years old and had spent the previous three months backpacking through Europe. I missed my family terribly, but felt obliged to spend Christmas with my boyfriend in Victoria. I longed for home, for familiarity, for our special family traditions.

That Christmas was my first introduction to the concept of holiday obligations and compromise and I didn’t like it! Of course I didn’t. Christmas with my family meant spending a week together at our cabin on Mt. Baldy near Oliver, British Columbia. It was all magic. There were no electronic devices to detract from our family time - just a lot of food, games and snow to keep us occupied.

Our traditions included caroling through the village on Christmas Eve, stockings filled with goodies plus an obligatory orange in the toe, some kind of outdoor activity in the afternoon, and an amazing evening meal most often followed by Christmas pudding for dessert (which for me, was all about the sweet, buttery rum sauce on the top).

These warm family traditions were my frame of reference, and nothing measured up. Until something wonderful happened… I fell in love. I mean real love. I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you love. The your-traditions-can-become-my-traditions type of love.

This led to what I call the Dum-Houl rotation where we alternate between spending Christmas with the Dumais and the Houlgraves. On a Dumais year, both my family and my sister’s family travel to Oliver and our traditions match fairly closely to those described above. With kiddos in the mix, we have a fuller cabin, more sledding, less skiing, and equal amounts of food, drink and merriment. On a Houlgrave year, we enjoy a big family brunch and supper plus we get the added pleasure of being home for Christmas because my husband’s family live in the Comox Valley.

Because of the Dum-Houl rotation and my husband’s work schedule, our holidays take on a very different feel each year, but certain things remain the same. It is these things that I want to preserve as our special family traditions, customs that my children can count on experiencing each year.

A wise friend, a few years ahead of me in the having-kids-department, shared her thoughts on Christmas traditions not too long ago. She told me that after having kids she made some really deliberate choices about holiday traditions. She chose to hang on to sacred, old traditions, to create new traditions unique to her little family, and to reject traditions that were based on obligation or that didn’t lead to overall family happiness.

Her words really made an impact on me. How liberating to accept the idea that we have a choice in how we celebrate.

Sacred traditions that we have chosen to keep include celebrating advent, decorating a tree, filling stockings, “believing” in the magic of Santa, enjoying festive music, sharing Christmas stories, giving to those in need, baking special goodies and gathering with family for holiday meals and activities.

Some old traditions we have chosen to adapt. Gift-giving is one of them. We try to limit what we give our own kids and we have a cap on spending for our nieces and nephews. For adult family members, we keep things simple by either drawing names or bringing one gift to a family gathering and playing the steal-the-gift game. That’s the game where you pull a number and when your number comes up you can choose a gift from the pile or steal a gift that has already been opened. Good fun!

New traditions include Christmas movie night with our nieces and nephew (The Polar Express, The Grinch and The Snowman are family faves) and the pass-the-parcel game on Christmas Eve, where a package containing a little something for everyone is wrapped in newspaper several times, festive music is played and everyone sits in a circle passing the present until the music stops and a layer is unwrapped.

On both sides of the family, Christmas dinner and other holiday meals have become shared works of art where everyone contributes. We’ve canned the idea of all the holiday cooking falling on the shoulders of the momma. Christmas baking has become a collaborative tradition, as well.

As for the Dum-Houl rotation, it stays. We realize alternating year-to-year is a compromise for us and for our parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. But we have learned to love the variety in our tradition of sharing time with both sides of our family and feel it is an effort worth keeping, so that both sides of our family remain closely tied.

It’s more than just pretending to enjoy their turnip puff, while they do the same with my marshmallow-smothered yams – it’s about integrating Christmas traditions that keep families strong, healthy and happy.

Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday season filled with the traditions that are important to you!