Birth and Disposition – Are They a Match?
There is absolutely no scientific data or testing to base my latest theory on kids and personality. But, whether pediatricians and scientists around the world buy into my theory or not, my life-experience data has led me to decide that I have made a breakthrough in determining the personalities of children…until of course I am disproven about 30 seconds from now.
At any level, I’ve spent a lot of time observing the tiny people in my life these days and discussing this new idea of mine with fellow mommas. They are at least humoring me by agreeing that there may be some merit in my pontification. So, why not share?
While neither of our daughters are quiet or shy, they have wildly different dispositions. It’s no surprise really, and I still sort of wonder what made me think that Quinn would be anything like her big sister.
But, there they are in all of their wonderful sweetness – two amazing kids who are like yin and yang.
As I’ve watched them both over time I started to wonder about how they come to their dispositions – is it genetic? Environmental? Something they learn? Cosmic even?
Then, I started to think about their personalities as they relate to their births. These kiddos could not, literally, have had more different entrances into the world. Could they have found their sense of self in the way they arrived? I set out to prove out my theory one way or the other.
My methodology was simple – take a look at their births and their personalities and see if things line up (very scientific, I know). Strangely, I discovered that I may be on to something, or mildly insane – one or the other (I vote for both).
Our oldest daughter is remarkably reflective of her birth. It was 10 days late, long and dramatic with moments of unbelievable wow and emergencies, drawing a crowd for the spectacle. Then, boom, she announced her presence with authority. She literally came out with a giant roar and has never stopped. No napping. No pausing. No slow and easygoing. She’s all about the adventure. Welcome to Mhari. That is pretty much how I would describe her from top to tail.
Quinn, on the other hand, was the most easygoing birth ever. Contractions started. They kept going. We kept going. Everyone was totally laid back. She arrived just hours before her due date with a deliberate sense of purpose and came out with a giant smile on her face. Welcome to Quinn. She is deliberate as all get out and one of those kids who is almost always smiling. She’s lovely and social. Will hang out and do her thing for hours as long as she’s got mom or dad nearby. Then let’s you know as soon as she needs something in distinct, deliberate ways.
Hmmmm, could I be a genius? Not likely.
But, I do wonder if that amazing moment when we leave our moms and enter into this world is the defining moment for who we are.
So, what do you think? When you look back at your kids births do they reveal a bit of those personalities? I don’t need to be right. But, I am curious to see if I’m at least mildly observant.
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Robin Rivers is Our Big Earth’s Publisher and Sr. Partner. Able to survive on coffee alone. Often can be found leaping tall buildings with the help of great friends. Predisposed to odd hats and the color orange. In love with imagination, her kids and that crazy guy who married her.Subscribe
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I enjoyed reading this and it’s fun to think about, even if it turns out not to be the real deal! For me personally, I can’t necessarily see the actually birthing process in relation to my kids’ personalities, but I often think about how we could see their personalities shining through from the very second they were born. Labor with H was rapid and very exciting — but he came out looking thoughtful and wise, eyes wide open and alert, immediately surveying all that he could take in. We often say that it’s almost like he needed a little clipboard in his hand and a tiny pen — and I’m sure that if he could talk at that moment, the questions would’ve poured forth. Labor with L was very relaxed and while it wasn’t all that long, it didn’t have that super-speed feel to it — but L was more upset by the whole process. However, we could see his sweet, affectionate and cuddly ways from the get-go. Once he was cozy in his mama’s (or dada’s) arms, all was right with the world — and he was a very easy-going baby, happy to sit around and grin. So, in that respect, the relaxed part is definitely a parallel to his birth!
Anyway, I love thinking about my kids’ personalities and what we could see coming through during those very early days — I actually do it a lot. My (also very unscientific) conclusion has been that they were who they are from the very first seconds — and even before they were born! When I was pregnant with L, he used to startle extremely easily — and to this day he’s a sensitive little soul.
I could go on and on. Very fun to think about. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this!
An interesting idea, Robin.
I’ll have to ask my mother about my birth – I only know about the allergies I had immediately after I was born and how my first-time parents blamed themselves. The mid-60s wasn’t an enlightened era for supporting parents.
I do know that I was overheard explaining birthing to the collected assortment of neighbourhood kids when I was 4 – girls are born in delivery rooms and boys are born in operating rooms. Perhaps the pre-emptive c-section my mother had to deliver my brother explains his easy-going nature. He remains calm in crises – which is a valuable skill. I, on the other hand, fit nicely into a description I once read by an allergist who described his patients as ‘fair-haired, nervous and jumpy.’
I think I’ll call my mom now.
Beth
I know my sister had a water birth with her youngest, and man, can this little girl swim! She has loved the water all her life and has been able to swim on her own since she was at least two, head in water, the whole bit. Her oldest, who had a more “conventional” and drier birth, loves swimming too, but with her youngest, you can really tell, when she is in water, she is “home.” She is like a little seal!
So I’ve always wondered if the water birth had anything to do with it?
While birthing my son, he dawdled coming out–tricking us all: “I’m here!” then “Back I go.” Midwife tends to the other birthing mom in the next room, thinking he was going to be awhile.
I go for a pee… Surprise! My partner and the medical student assisting us see the top of his head poking out from “down there.” Panic! Will he land in the toilet? Rush for midwife, I go back to the bed. Up he goes for a little while longer, not coming out yet.
My darling son is still a dawdler, caught in the moment, inspired by the little things on his journey from a to b (which is never in a straight and most direct line). And he is a trickster! Mwa… love him to bits.
Might it be possible that their personalities are reflected in their births, rather than formed by them? That has been my wonderment as I’ve reflected on my kids’ respective births and personalities.
Haha, love the article Robin – I’m not sure our two fit that pattern entirely, however I can see a bit of it.