Editor’s Note: Happy Monday! This morning Alix Wilson is on site with tips on preparing your kids for large family gatherings. Here she is:

This summer we are headed to a huge family gathering. It’s a wedding on my husband’s mother’s side of the family, so there will be plenty of people that I have met only once or twice before, as well as the bride’s side of the family, whom we don’t know at all. Although my personality tends to be on the shy, reserved side, I do enjoy meeting new people and look forward to seeing the in-laws whom I’ve grown to really like.

I’m not so sure about my kids though. Although my boys have met a few people on that side of the family, we haven’t seen many of them since they were babies and they are not likely to remember those people. There will definitely be a lot of relatives anxious to meet them for the first time.

When I think back to my own childhood and what the large family gatherings were like, I want to make such experiences more positive for my own children.

My mother’s extended family is huge. Although she only had one uncle on her mom’s side, my grandfather was the youngest of seven, so the number of cousins on that side is overwhelming to me. As a young mother, my mom made a personal choice to distance herself from her family. As a result, very few of these cousins were familiar to my brother or I growing up.

Inevitably some big event would pull the family together - be it a wedding, an anniversary, a birthday or even a funeral. I remember, not too pleasantly, enduring the repetitive “My, how you’ve grown” or “Last time I saw you, you were this big” statements with polite smiles and responses, and feeling that I had no choice but to accept the kisses and hugs from near strangers.

I’m quite positive my boys’ responses won’t be as pretty. Currently my youngest growls or clings and looks the other way when directly asked a question by a stranger. My oldest gets a wacky look on his face and either pretends not to hear or acts like he doesn’t know how to speak properly.

I know my boys function much better when they are given a head’s up about what is going to happen. I want to equip them with some means to feel confident about meeting so many new people.

Here are some of the tactics we are employing to survive this upcoming event, make it fun for everyone and create some great new memories:

- When it comes to our closest relatives whom we don’t get to see as often as we’d like to, we have always made them a part of our kids’ lives by telling stories about things the boys have done with them, or even stuff that happened when we were children ourselves.

Doing the same thing with the relatives they haven’t met creates familiarity for the boys when it comes time to meet them in person.

- Visit the photo album to put names to faces.

- Build a family tree with photos to help the kids see how we are all connected. This is also a great educational opportunity, explaining how different relations are defined and how one person can be an aunt, sister, cousin, mother and grandmother all at the same time.

- Take the family tree one more step by adding small icons to remind the kids of the stories we have told, or things that each relative is interested in. This will help the kids strike up conversations with people they barely know, especially if it is something they have in common with them.

Of course, all this prepping will be beneficial for me too – after all it isn’t my family that we are going to see!

When we get closer to the event, we will remind the boys of the etiquette and manners that we hope they will display. We know they are nice boys who are caring and sweet, but it would be nice if they could show that side of themselves to their distant relatives too.

There will be reminders about remembering to say please, no thank you and thank you, making eye contact and speaking clearly, as well as how to pose politely for the inevitable pictures.

Another message that I feel strongly about sending my kids, is that their body belongs to them and they don’t have to accept any form of unwanted attention, from anybody. It is important that they know it’s okay to say “no thank you” to Great Aunt’s hugs and kisses. I want them to be polite, yet assertive in their requests, and suggest an alternative, like shaking hands, giving a high-five, or whatever they feel comfortable with instead.

Practicing conversations through role playing will help the kids field typical questions that relations ask, such as “Do you go to school?” and “How old are you now?” Perhaps this will also arm the boys with some questions they can ask in return, such as “What do you do for work?” or “How old are you now?”

Through this play we will encourage the kids to remember the interests of their relatives and to use those as conversation starters.

Children always pick up on their parents feelings and look to them for guidance on how to act in each situation. So, we will be sure to put into practice all of the great tips we’re coaching them on.

Like any big gathering, the first part of the get together will be the hardest. When all the meet and greet challenges are over, eventually everyone will start to have more fun and the boys will be free to play with all the third cousins they’ve just met and hopefully become lifelong friends with.

In the end, kids will be kids and most people will be okay with that. There will probably be some slightly embarrassing moments, and great uncle twice removed might get slightly offended by one of my children’s remarks.

But family is family, and after the get together we’ll have so many more stories to add to our “library” for re-telling over and over again.