Editor’s Note: If you missed out on this morning’s review of the luxurious Tigh-Na-Mara Spa & Resort, you can read all about it HERE. Now, here’s Robin with a look at working motherhood.

It’s hard to hear, that sweet voice sitting next to me coloring at the kitchen table that pipes up when my computer mysteriously shuts down, “Mommy, does that mean that you can play with me now?”

Ouch.

I thought I’d be the mom who always had time to play, could drop everything on a dime and hit the park, never had to say “I just have 15 more minutes of work.”

I remember when M was about two months old, walking on the beach in Oregon with a distant family member, talking about how fantastic it is to be able to stay at home with her – how I couldn’t understand why any woman would EVER want to work after having children. He gave me a bit of a lecture about the reality of most women’s lives. Working was part of the deal. I should respect that.

For a while, I didn’t, at least not totally. Why would anyone not want to be there for those amazing first steps of development – the sweet moments, the profound accomplishments and that daily wow?

That first year or so, I couldn’t have imagined being anywhere but by M’s side. The wow factor was off the charts. But,  I started realizing that my circle of life had gotten very small and my wows were amazing, but also exhausting and I could not recharge.

Not that there weren’t tons of mommy groups and play dates. But, I knew that parts of me had fallen by the wayside and I started to see – beyond the reality of finances – why many women talked endlessly about the point at which they could finally go back to work.

It was a crazy time for me. Life had shifted in massive ways – no way would I ever consider going back to daily newspaper reporting, writing about the odd, the cruel and often senseless things that people perpetuate upon each other. I didn’t want to be that person any more. But, I also knew that the only thing that drives me every day is telling other people’s stories. I love to write.

When I started what would become Our Big Earth, it was just that – a place to write – and I had to see it as a job because I’m not good at casual.

As it grew, what I didn’t realize is what I’d walk away from.

Our daughter has grown up with OBE and gone through the growing pains of it all. She’s gone from having every minute of my attention to taking on the responsibility of making her own fun at certain points of every day. We found preschool. We don’t see our friends like we used to. She is a professional meeting attender.

Not what I thought our days would look like when it all started.

The sacrifices on both ends have been intense at times and it makes me feel like a horrible mom. Finding me in the kitchen for more than 20 minutes at a time is relatively laughable. Finding out that she has an entire cupboard of “Mom and Dad are working” projects means I am often self-guilted into things like chocolate and treats that I would otherwise never consider.

There’s a constant mix of guilt and more guilt.

This year, we’ve found a bit more balance. We made a promise that work would not rule. Mondays and Wednesdays are M&M days – no office time allowed.

And still, I feel like I always come up short with her.

On the other side of it all, work is the reason I’m still standing upright most days. That time I spend creating and building, sharing and sometimes griping at people is the ying to motherhood’s yang. It reminds me every day that I am Robin, who is also Mommy, but can put down the Crocs and capri pants for a while to spend some time talking shop, connecting and working with the community.

I could not be a good mom if I wasn’t a business woman. You’d find me laying in a corner curled up. It would be ugly.

All the time spent in the office, meeting with clients and on the computer late at night – gives me a sense of self-worth that I don’t know would otherwise be with me. It’s priceless and I believe our daughter sees that.

So, when she gives me the “time to play with me” nudge and gives the computer the evil eye, my guilt lives side by side with knowing that motherhood and work are a good match for me.

I don’t begrudge the stay-at-home mom, or the woman who takes a part-time job to get away from the family for a few hours every week. I don’t judge the mom who has their kid in full-time day care, or whose kiddo has never seen the inside of a preschool.

It’s about balance, this motherhood thing – and finding your sane place where you are at your best at least 55% of the time is key. Each woman knows what they need and what has to give.

Motherhood is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given in this life – truly. But, getting up and heading out to the office gives me the purpose I need each day to make my time with the kiddo the best it can be.