Editor’s Note: Good morning. Marcie Dumais is on site with a look at the top traits that make for a confident mom. Here she is:

Over Spring Break, my kiddos and I flew to Penticton to spend time with my parents. This meant a quick flight to Vancouver, followed by a few hours in the Vancouver Airport and then an hour flight to our destination. This experience was absolutely exhilarating for my little boys who think the world of airplanes, pilots and things that go.

In terms of my confidence as a mom, however, the trip felt like a series of Olympic events with the other passengers acting as the judges. Events included restaurant-etiquette, boredom-busters, not-losing-a-kid, nutrition, hygiene, not-ticking-off-other-passengers, souvenir shopping, and my biggest challenge, the-boys-getting-along-with-one-another. Judges used snickers, eye-rolls, frowns, knowing smiles, laughter, helpful gestures and comments to critique my performance.

I had visualized my sport well. I was prepared. I had a seating plan. I knew where the play areas were in the airport. I had a child-containment method (a.k.a. umbrella stroller). I had healthy snacks. I had treats to pull out just in case. I had new books. I had small toys. I had activity books. I had wipes. I had remembered to pack the sippy cup filled with fluids. I was well-rested. My two-year-old and five-year-old could recite four airplane rules, “stay in seat, keep seat belt on, no yelling and no fighting.” I looked confident on the outside, but was frazzled on the inside.

Coincidentally, our trip came around the same time as this article. I had been mulling over the traits of a confident mom and brewing about the whole notion of confidence. As moms, we are hit daily with images and messages in the media that tell us we’re not doing it right, that we could do it better or that we need particular techniques or equipment to succeed as parents.

But what if you put all that garbage aside and focus instead on truths in your family life, truths that give you the confidence to be the best mom that you can be?

What if you choose to believe in yourself and your ability to make good decisions?

What if you consciously let some things go, so that you can focus on what is truly important in your life?

Wouldn’t life be easier, happier, better? I think it would.

Truth # 1 – Wisdom

You know your kids better than anyone. You know what makes them happy, what makes them giggle, what makes them scream and what fills them up and what excites them. You know what is right for your family. It is up to you to do it and make decisions without doubting or questioning your ability. Of course, you still may seek other opinions or ask advice, but when you make a plan, trust your wisdom and stick with it.

Accepting that you’re the expert on your kids also makes it easier to throw comparisons out the window. What works for one family might not work for another, given the uniqueness of your kids and your family circumstances. A confident mom is practical with realistic expectations and has a set of reality checks in place when she’s lost her cool to regroup, refocus and move forward with a sense of grace.

It helps to surround yourself with people that respect your parenting decisions and that support you in your “expert” role as a mom. Welcome people into your life that fill you with confidence and limit your time with those who don’t.

Truth # 2 – Direction

You know what you want for your family. It seems every time you turn around there is a different book with a “better” parenting philosophy. No matter if you’ve read all the books or none at all, as a mother you have an innate understanding of the life you want for yourself and for your family. Trust this knowledge to take you where you want to go. Be deliberate in the choices you make for your kids. Have the courage to make decisions that fit with your goals. Courage and confidence go hand-in-hand.

Truth # 3 – Wellness

Your health and wellness really matters. Taking care of yourself and filling yourself up is a big part of the confidence equation. Find simple pleasures that will help boost your energy throughout the day: sitting down for a cup of tea, lighting a candle in your kitchen while you prepare dinner, listening to relaxing music while you do chores or taking a shower before your day gets too crazy.

Parenting is a roller coaster with all kinds of flips and flops – change is constant and never ending. Learning coping mechanisms that help you “go with the flow” will bless your family, and help to keep your stress level down. Be proactive and create a space to nurture yourself, so that you can be the best you can be.

Truth # 4 – Humor

Laughter is the best medicine. A trait that I really admire in other moms who seem to cope remarkably well is a sense of humor. I have found that when I’m struggling with a challenging parenting issue, humor often works to bring the boys out of their funk and into a more cooperative place; the sillier the better for my little dudes. So laugh each day – it really does make a difference.

Truth # 5 – Love

Your children love you more than anyone else in the world. No one can replace you. Let this love guide you in your journey as a mom, and give you confidence in how you raise your children. When my wild little guy finally calms down, rests his weary head beside mine and tells me he loves me, it fills me up and gives me strength. I don’t always feel confident that I’m handling his challenging behavior effectively, but knowing that he thinks I’m the best person for the job keeps me going and gives me purpose.

As moms, we’re not always going to feel wise, deliberate, healthy, funny and loved. But by accepting these five truths, we can organize our life around the realities and strengths that we have, and not around others’ expectations of who we are and who we should be.

So the airplane landed in Penticton, my little family walked into the airport and jumped into Grandpa’s welcoming arms. I felt confident and happy, and it dawned on me that the other passengers weren’t really my judges. Their opinion didn’t matter. What mattered was the happiness of my little guys and the fact that we made it safe and sound… and I didn’t even have to pull out the lollipops!